crankyspanker

I can’t say that I have any faith in the practice of any form of therapy. I had had some experience with the practice over the years, from the child therapists that just could not get the reason why I refused to attend school on a regular basis, to the various attempts I have made at “self-improvement” over the years.

Now I know why they added the leather couch.

Recently I was trying to write a song parody, I say trying because I never seem to feel that I am finished. I chose The Sounds of Silence a classic song by Simon and Garfunkel that I have enjoyed over the years. It may be a very old song but it still holds up after all these years.

Just for the record I am including my parody here and you can find Bonnie’s version here The Sounds of Spanking

Hello sweetheart, my dear friend
I’ve come to paddle your rear end
Across my knee then you came crawling
So deep, so hard in love was I falling
I lifted your skirt
And I bared your pretty bum
It won’t hurt
Waiting, for the sounds,
Of spanking

I raised my hand and brought it down
I’d made you wait, I’d made you frown
Just grit your teeth, I’ll have you know
Tears from spankings just must sometimes flow
Slapping briskly from side to side
Hitting you baby with all I had
You almost cried
Listening, to the sounds
Of spanking

I did not know, you did not ask
It was so sweet taking you to task
I pushed my face right into your neck
I smelled your scent, boy was I a wreck
It seemed to me
That this could never end
It shouldn’t end
Remembering, the sounds
Of spanking

I concentrated on the timing and the rhymes and I do think that I did a pretty good job of it, even evolving the tone of the song much like to source material. After I had posted it Bonnie pointed out that I had composed the parody from a spanker’s point of view. She had written a similar song parody from the spankee’s point of view a couple of years earlier.  Whether you want to call it top and bottom, or by any other description both of these songs exhibit a very strong point of view. I was looking for spanking therapist images and I did come across a spanking Therapist, a Shadowlane cover and another by Sarah Gregory

Maybe writing a song parody does give you a picture of the inner mind of the writer or maybe this is all just co-incidence. I will admit it gave me an excuse to repost my song parody, after all I did work relatively hard on it for some time.

CS

I honestly can’t say. I do remember that when I was a young fellow full of himself an so very shiny I had few reservations about meeting anyone, ok so I might have been an asshole but what self confident young man is not?

So I decided that if I were to learn anything in school my local high school was impossible. I took the test for a technical high school in Brooklyn, I only took the single test, and I told you I was self confident. I was accepted and strangely enough my guidance counselor was pissed off, I had missed so many school days that regardless of my marks I could be held back. Since I had scored so highly on the entrance exam I did not need to officially leave Robert H. Goddard Junior High, I was accepted and did not need their permission, so I was allowed to graduate.

One small problem, that amazing technical school was a single gender school apparently girls were not appropriate for engineering education. The classes were not all that challenging I held all the records for most missed days in any period month, quarter or term and still managed to be somewhere in the top third of my class. But the only way that I had met girls before was in school, this was a definite blow to my social calendar.

Where do you find women I asked myself, the answer was so clear college! So one night me and a wingman walked, there was no way either of us could have a vehicle even a POS, out to a university on Long Island. I lived in Queens so it wasn’t that far. On the way I purchase a pint of vodka at a liquor store, I was not old enough so sue me, with a bit of liquid courage we wandered onto this campus and found our way to the Fraternity houses.

Isn’t he cute and harmless. not the impression I wanted but there you have it.

There was one with a party, big surprise there, and we walked in bold as brass and started the hunt. I approached quite a few young women that night and they treated me very nicely, like a friend’s younger brother, in hindsight it was condescending of them but they were nice to me. Despite my obvious youth I was not mistreated in any way considering that I was trespassing, but after a couple of hours it was apparent that my performance was under par, I did not do enough research to be able to talk like a college student, and we left discouraged and disappointed.

If I had been successful just what was going to happen when the truth came out?

So just what happened to that self confident prick? After relocating to the West coast I did just fine economically, I lost everything I had in a fire, I just escaped with the clothes on my back, and the damned ER cut off my pants, less than three years later I had a brand new car in the driveway of my own house. A year later I was the highest paid manager/engineer in the company that I was working for. It was not exactly rags to riches but I was satisfied with what I had worked very hard to accomplish.

Somewhere during these years I developed a paralyzing fear of rejection. I did not try to meet women because they might reject me. Now I can see how pathetic and ridiculous this was but except for my customers I met very few women. In older parlance you might have referred to me as a bootlegger, but I always managed to have the very best. So what was it a phobia or just paranoia at this juncture I can’t really say.

I can understand the fear of certain things like high places or spiders, both scare me, but being phobic about rejection seems a pretty far stretch. Just what could possibly go wrong? I could be called a bad name or someone could make fun of me, nothing there exactly life threatening, life falling 10 stories, but I had walled myself off effectively for many years. My marriage may have the final and last expression of all that fear, after all there usually isn’t much dating after getting married.

So why am I saying all these things. I mean this as a cautionary tale to those younger than myself that might benefit from my mistakes and maybe even learn from them. I know how hard it is to put yourself out there but the alternates really suck, a lot. Take a chance, be yourself, I know there is no way that you should be yourself if you listen to any expert on dating and relationships, but the best possibility to connect with another human being in any truly meaningful way is to not start out with a lie. If you aren’t going to be accepted for who you are then how can you get to know anyone else, unless you are a complete dweeb like me, then lie your ass off.

CS

Just kidding.

Just what would a city boy like me know about horsemanship? I just know what I like. My first experience on horse back was quite a thrill. The horse was probably just of the well trained stable variety but to me this was a huge strong animal. One of the other guys thought to give the tenderfoot a real thrill slapped my mount and I was off. The ride was probably just a few minutes but I managed to hold on and soon the horse’s motions got smoother as he went from a slow speed to a faster one. I couldn’t name the gait but that is not important one of the older fellows caught up to me and brought my horse back under control. I don’t remember if I was more terrified or thrilled but I did go riding with the boys that afternoon.

I don’t remember seeing this in any western.

I have been on horseback many times since then but due to possible dangers have never been able to duplicate the speed of that first ride. To some horses may be big smelly animals but I happen to enjoy the  sights, sounds and yes even the smells associated with riding. This is one of those things that belong to an earlier time and there may be no room in the modern world for such notions. It is possible that I could be overly romanticizing the experience but don’t knock it unless you have tried it. I hope to go riding when the weather gets warmer but I will be pissed off if I am required to wear a helmet.

Just what does any of this have to do with spanking you might wonder? I have heard the phrase a trip to the woodshed but a tack room or barn has much more potential, all that leather, saddles and straps conveniently collected in one place. This is essentially a masculine arena the very air filled with the smell of leather and old horse blankets, I even like the smell of freshly baled hay.

I am not saying that woman don’t appreciate horses, quite the contrary sitting astride one of these lovely animals is something special. Whether you prefer Western or English style saddles or dress is up to your personal preference just as long as you get to ride. Spending a few hours in the saddle can leave you saddle sore but I think that’s an added benefit.

Back to that trip to the barn it is one of the better locations in my mind to practice the so called English vice. Taking her firmly by the hand or upper arm and leading her to take her medicine for whatever indiscretions or naughty behavior that has earned her a spanking. A saddle on a sawhorse is a sturdy and convenient place to bend your playmate over with leather leads and straps to bind her in place if necessary.

Since the woodshed or barn is not part of the house it is almost like being outdoors but still private enough to play without fear of being interrupted. You can give or get a good hard spanking, paddling or strapping with the added excitement of being outside of the house. I think my next place should have at least a woodshed.

CS