Don’t Spank Me!

Beginnings are fragile, when you first meet someone and feel attracted, it’s pretty natural to try to put your best foot forward rather than in your mouth. After several disasters I did my best to bury my spanko side and concentrate on the vanilla side of things. I certainly did not want to come across like this guy.
Even after some mutual attraction was a fact and we had become intimate I was hesitant to reveal my fantasies. Some times for months and even years, I would disguise myself. Eventually when I just had to come out or it seemed like a good idea it was difficult to explain just what I was all about. In hindsight this approach was probably screwed up and resulted in more difficulties than if I had been more open in the first place.
Are you sure?
In my experience after opening up there was still the problem of communication. Was what I wanted also acceptable and desired, or would I get it wrong. The toughest call for me to make is when there is slight resistance that seems like part of a game. Some people want to be spanked and can’t admit it, and others just aren’t into it at all. I don’t think there have been may arrests for spanking an unwilling partner, but to me I really do not want to impose my fantasies on anyone.

I have been warned or rather advised, it should be this easy.
CS
PS This Sunday the last Sam Swatt strip that I have collected.
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Imagination

Among the images on the net this one has really stuck with me.

I can not say exactly but it may be because of my Italian roots. La cucina was the center of activity and food and love were always closly associated. All the different kitchen tools add to the mix.
I would like to crook my finger at this woman and guide her over my knee. I would have to paddle this girl if only for getting flour on my pants. I would smooth the flour evenly across her pretty behind and start slapping one cheek then the other. The flour layer would smooth my strikes and eventually her butt would start to show pink through the flour like rouge on pale cheeks. As her punishment continued I would listen to her and watch her legs wiggle. Soon she would be sated and crawl off my lap to stand before me holding her freshly spanked ass. I would draw her in my arms and she would show her appreciation for my handiwork.
I did say this was my inspiration and imagination.
CS
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CAVEMAN CARRY

I believe the correct technical terminology is modified fireman’s carry. This is supposed to be the best way for one person to carry another. Aside from life threatening situations it looks like foreplay to me. I was watching this B movie called Man-Thing, The sheriff tosses Rachael Taylor over his shoulder, and she was just being arrested. The only reason I watched this movie because I liked Rachael’s performance in Bottle Shock. More recently Gerard Butler treats Jennifer Aniston the same way and takes advantage of her position to smack her butt a couple of times.
Not sure where I got this but it is inspiring.
Not too happy about this
Speaks for itself
 
There are other things I like that emphasize my physical strength, for example holding both of her arms behind her while she buries her face in my neck or chest, also pressing her close against a wall for some snogging (I think that’s correct, I always liked that word). Firmly grasping an arm and leading her to the bedroom, “come with me” was all that was required. Ultimately sweeping her off her feet and carrying her in my arms.
Currently in computer hardware hell but I really like this old post.

CS
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Not For Breakfast Only

I was wandering around the restaurant the other day when I spotted this spatula.
Cute or disturbing?
 
I had to imagine the odd marks this would leave behind if it was used for something other than turning pancakes.  Since I thought this was such an unusual shape for such a mundane object I had to Google it. Among the various images turned up by such a simple query here are some of the stranger items that were listed.
Can Spanking the monkey be any plainer?
Stainless steel for easy cleaning.
Alright I think that is sufficient.
 Maybe just one more, for all the images I looked through the last two seem to be a must for the kitchen.
Handy Storage    
5 different heads
How did I ever do without it. When I get to test drive this baby I will let you know.
CS
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Sunday Funnies – Sam Swatt by Dan Rivera

Originally published in Spank Hard #10


CS
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Staircase Boogie

Recently it was revealed to me that one of her favorite childhood activities was bumping down the long staircase in her family home. When I considered this statement it seemed to me that I also participated in this game. I was intrigued and wanted details, did she do this timidly easing her butt down the steps or just slide forward letting gravity have its way to land with a loud thud. Please note this is fine if you weigh 50 or 60 pounds but may be hazardous to your health and spine if attempted as an adult.
There are some requirements for this game to be successful. There should be no carpet on the risers although plush carpet does ease the impact; polished wooden stairs give the best results. I think that highly polished wood tends to stick to bare skin yielding an annoying and unsatisfying squealing and thud. Pajamas on the other hand are usually thin material that would slide on wood just fine. 
Bump or slide you choose.
 
Personally I had had other experiences with hard wood. My first time at a roller rink, I was attending a party and the fact that I had never been on a pair of roller skates did not deter me. I was not about to fall on my face, anyway it wasn’t up to me. The skates seemed to want to run away with me, I did not need knee pads but a whole lot more padding on my butt. Each time I fell and bounced hard on my ass only increased my determination not to fall again. I had a fabulous time and was reminded of it for the next few days every time I sat down.
Hard polished wood, things to come – maybe so.
 CS
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Leather Butt

I have always enjoyed horseback riding, once I got over the terror that’s to say.  Horses are big and despite actually being unceremoniously dumped only once I have to approach them with respect. Once astride, the old pleasure of western saddle and tack comes back. I even think that horses have a pleasant aroma. Still as enjoyable as it is after too many hours in the saddle I tend to walk a little bow-legged and sit gently.
When I think about my experiences with horses, and love of traditional westerns I can not help but think how the days of riding affected the average cowboy. A Brand new cowpoke on the range may have been referred to as greenhorn or tenderfoot but I have to think that was not the tenderest part of their anatomy. Really tenderfoot is accurate or how about tender butt. Old time cowboys hardened to full days in the saddle just had to be callused of ass or perhaps owned a leather butt.
The thing that got me started on this silly train of thought was a cartoon which I could not think of a valid reason to post. Well I did my best and dammit I am going to post this ridiculous cartoon.
A Little bit over the top maybe but fun.
 Another clip I just had to link to was a scene from a zombedy. That is a zombie / comedy called Undead or Alive with Chris Kattan, James Denton, and Navi Rawat. This may not have been the funniest comedy but gave a whole other meaning to bareback, I am not referring to sex without a condom. If you have seen the movie you know what I am talking about, if you have not enjoy!
CS
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Why Not

Sometimes any old excuse will do, I think I may have a coupon somewhere good for a birthday spanking. That is getting one, instead of giving one. One thing for sure though there are so many good reasons.
One of my favorites is; you have been naughty, that is a trigger phrase for me that goes way back and bring up all kinds of visuals. There are many variations on that theme, the funniest is I have done something wrong but you are going to pay for it! Then there are the good girl punishments that are the reward for excellent behavior.
There are serious foreplay type paddling, gradually making the strikes more intense while pausing to remove one layer of protection at a time. Finally revealing buns made pink and if things go according to plan a very wet pussy. There should be plenty of rubbing and squeezing throughout the process.
When I have been extra cranky, stubborn, pig-headed, lazy, rude or just plain annoying, in other words acting like an adolescent boy, it may be time for a good paddling. In my case withholding a good beating may be more cruel than an actual beating. Someday I will get everything I deserve, sooner rather than later.

CS

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The Lingering End

There have been plenty of spankings in the movies over the years. Since the invention of the motion picture the camera has depicted all kinds of human activity. In fact I think that a lot of spanking, except that of children being disciplined, substituted for sexuality that was strictly regulated. More recently there have been a couple of that go past hinting at the innate sexuality of spanking and that is one thing I for one am glad to see.
The movie Secretary was full of all kinds of examples of alternate sexuality but I would like to concentrate on the spanking aspect of the movie. Maggie Gyllenhaal’s performance throughout was excellent and I think her portrayal of a sub was spot on. I would like to loudly disagree with a number of trolls on a movie website that claim she is ugly. The entire scene where she places her forearms on her boss’s desk and reads her work while James Spader corrects her was very good although James technique left a little to be desired.
The spanking alone was good but the follow through was even better. The first thing she does is head straight to the bathroom to assess the damage. She quickly raises her clothing and pushes her underwear aside to marvel at the bruising of the one exposed cheek. It even seems as if she can feel the heat as she gently places her hand oh her bum. It is almost a Eureka moment when she finds what she needs. 

As the movie progresses Maggie attempts to recreate the feeling with her boyfriend. He just can not understand what she is trying to get from him and soon gives up. She even tried the do it yourself approach smacking her ass with a hairbrush, she does this in a bathroom to watch the proceedings I suppose but is unsatisfied with the results.
Interestingly enough according to the commentary this was a favorite scene.
 
Another excellent example is from the TV series weeds. In season 4 episode 7 “Yes I Can”. In this episode Mary-Louise Parker breaks the rules and goes over the head of her local supplier and directly to the source. Nancy gives him his bio as he did to her. She tells him she wants some of the next weed shipment. She says Guillermo said no just to punish her for getting in trouble with him. He asks if she thinks she should be punished. She says yes, but by him, not by Guillermo. He flips her over his knee, whips up her dress and spanks her by way of response. Shaken but excited, she says thank you and leaves. I have to admit the backseat of a limo as a setting for a spanking has desirable elements that I hadn’t considered before.
Back at the house, Shane’s getting the remodel rundown from the expert. Isabelle, sitting on his bed, finds his naked pictures – of Nancy. Nancy comes home then and lays down on the bed but has to cushion her wounded tush. She places a pillow between her legs to lessen the pressure on her behind.  Towards the end of the episode Nancy checks out her spank-reddened cheek and smiles. You can download the entire clip from Ch. Ross Guide To The Spanking Internet.
The spankings here are great but the total experience is there. The lasting effects and the obligatory check in the mirror to examine the wounded flesh are also shown. Being on the receiving end myself I have to say that the spanking is incomplete without checking in the mirror and feeling the heat radiating from my butt. Tracing the lines with my fingers if present and cupping my buttocks. I hope to see more of this as it really is a more complete picture.
CS
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Sunday Funnies – Sam Swatt by Dan Rivera

I would like to thank Dan for alerting me to the correct spelling of the character name and to add  by Dan Rivera. I always liked this comic and there seems to be agreement based on the number of page views for the last strip. This strip is from Spank Hard Number 9 and is an homage to my favorite book and movie The Maltese Falcon “the stuff dreams are made of”.

I would also like to thank the MASTER, Ch. Ross for adding my blog to his Chross Guide To The Spanking Internet. Among Spanking bloggers to be Chrossed is quite an achievement.


When I was trying to name my blog I considered several possibilities. The ups and downs of an irritated lifelong spankophile seemed a bit wordy. I thought that Cranky Spanker summed it up nicely and since it was not being used considered it original. However when I was scanning the above comic I turned the page I found this.

I wasn’t the only one to think that this was a good title.

CS
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