It should be a right. But like everything else there are limitations. You would not believe what I have done over the years chasing that perfect partner, for sex and spankings of course. Even if the odds are very long. I once went to London chasing the remotest possibility of that very thing.

Wait a minute; I know what you are thinking. You’re a stalker, not just any kind either you’re an international stalker. It may seem a lot like that but I assure you, I mean appearances are deceptive, that was not the case. I wasn’t convicted after all.

A short few hundred years ago a friend contacted me. A mutual acquaintance had a dilemma and she had no one left to ask for help. She had scheduled a romantic trip for herself and her boyfriend, one month in the UK. Her boyfriend was unable to go. Please stop me if you’ve already heard this. She needed someone to go with her. I think I was the only one she had ever met that wasn’t broke.

Aw shucks just like a puppy.

I was in between engagements; I had just been interviewed at an aerospace firm. This was cutting edge stuff, I had all the required skills and they were ready to hire me. This was a difficult choice for me. Accept employment doing R&D or go on a trip with some one who was practically a stranger. I am talking about a very cute stranger that in most other instances would not give me the time of day. I did the only reasonable thing, I asked my potential employer to wait a month. They politely declined.

Well in for a penny. I made all the necessary arrangements and flew to New York. We flew to Heathrow and I had such a crush, her reaction to me was meh. The first week was easy. We sublet am apartment in London and it was fully furnished. We did some tourist stuff together and both had a bed. I discovered English pubs and hard cider. I still don’t drink ale or beer but this stuff was great.

The second week we were scheduled to take a bus tour of Wales. It got tougher for me here. We often had to share the only bed. I learned that I snored too much and I had a tendency to want to cuddle in my sleep. Some of the beds we slept in had to be from World War II. Nice and firm on the edges with a saggy spot in the middle. I was getting in deeper all the time. I do believe there was a pool among our fellow passengers whether we would be together or not by the end of the week.

The last two weeks we were arguing like an old married couple and we were stuck with just the two of us. She was frustrated because she needed my help and I was frustrated because well you know. We toured Ireland. She got even more pissed off because she couldn’t drive the car she had rented, she never drove a manual transmission, and my car at home was an MGB. Driving around Ireland was really trippy and it took a while for me to get used to the other side of the street. I swear that some of the roads on the map were just dirt ruts through fields of sheep. The lodgings for the two weeks were all B&Bs. One bed, usually no shower so I learned how to take baths.

I lost my Southern California Drawl and started to sound like the locals. We saw a lot of the countryside and I even got to hear an Irish band play in a Pub. It was amazing they almost made me cry. I was surprised that none of the B&B operators, mostly nice Irish couples, asked about our marital status. When you argue all the time it was plain to see that we were married. So we just said nothing.

When we got back to New York I had only enough change left for a phone call. I had learned a lot about my self. Despite sharing a bed I mostly behaved myself. I could not help the snoring and no one else has ever said that I cuddle in my sleep. I have a lot of nice blurry pictures, and I think that despite our mutual frictions it was a pretty good trip just not the one I was hoping for. Despite being barely acquainted we did not kill each other and I was not a risk for her. Maybe that was the other reason I was asked in the first place.

CS