Diminishing Returns

2013 the only thing I can say is “it could be worse” This year has been tough for me. I have been distracted from the things that interest me by a continual barrage of  problems of all different sizes. The latest insult over the six months or maybe longer I have noticed that my sight seemed to be getting worse. I had assumed that the problem was just one more symptom of getting older. I meant to get an eye exam but there was always something more urgent. I was heading to California to do a little work, I was finally felt up to the trip. I had contracted to be there two months earlier and I assumed that I would have plenty of time to get ready and prepare for the job. Wrong on both counts.

On the way to California I noticed a strange shadow thingie floating in my field of vision, only in front of my right eye. I found out later this is referred to a floater. I thought the thing was temporary but it was persistent, darned thingie. I finally saw my Doctor’s assistant a couple of weeks later and he told me to see an ophthalmologist. I made an appointment on Tuesday and had one of the most thorough eye exam that I ever had. After peering into the offending eye with a lens glued to it with some slimy substance he said that I had a retinal tear. He insisted that I travel to Phoenix to see an ophthalmic surgeon. While we were setting up the appointment to see the surgeon Dr number one reminded the scheduling assistant that there was also a detachment.

That sounded bad, I looked it up and according to the internet when the retina is pulled away from the back of the eye it is called a retinal detachment. The retina does not work very well when it is detached and vision become blurry. A retinal detachment is very a very serious problem that almost always causes blindness unless it is treated with detached retina surgery.

I was seen by the surgeon Wednesday and after another round of dilation and examination this procedure was decided. I needed surgery and once the procedure was completed I had to stay in Phoenix for 6 weeks because I could not return home due to the altitude there. Six weeks is impossible I told him and he said that a slightly smaller bubble, not as certain as the full one, could be used and I would only have to stay a week.

So it was decided. I would have my right eye worked on and a scleral buckle, that’s the best name they could come up with, would place a flexible band around my eye to pull the retina into place and be left in place. A vitrectomy and pneumatic retinoplexy would complete the operation. A gas bubble is injected into the vitreous space inside the eye in combination with laser surgery. The gas bubble pushes the retinal tear into place against the back wall of the eye. Sometimes this procedure can be done in the ophthalmologist’s office. Your ophthalmologist will ask you to constantly maintain a certain head position for several days. The gas bubble will gradually disappear. That bubble might expand too much if I went to a higher altitude and cause more damage of course air travel was definitely put off.

The procedure was scheduled Friday morning and according to the surgeon and staff I did very well. I was so medicated I think that my penis fell off and I did not eve notice it. So here I am in a room at the local Hyatt one eye swollen shut and wondering where my penis is.

I was very fond of it, about so long uncut with a small  spot about an inch from the business end. Positively a spotted Dick. If anyone finds it I am offering a reward. It answers to the name Spot.

One other thing I was being escorted around by my niece and her son had an eye patch with a pirate logo on it, just what I needed really!  I am looking forward to posting something positive soon. I may have to just ask for help.


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2 Responses to Diminishing Returns

  1. I have sure the ordeal was no fun, but your account made me chuckle a bit.Best wishes for a speedy recovery.

  2. Thank you

    was looking for something amusing about the whole mess.


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