That may be misspelled but it is a common misconception that the rapid growth of human invention and ingenuity in the late 18 century through to modern times was driven by altruism or the pursuit of wealth and fame. Another strong motivation driving all this invention was sexuality. In the days prior to penicillin and other modern medical treatments syphilis a common ailment transmitted by sexual activity and the prognosis was horrible from blindness, insanity to death. Many women died in childbirth so even simple pregnancy often ended in death. Most religions condemned sex outside of marriage and some like the Roman Cathaholics actually condemned any sexual pleasure at all, sex was for procreation only, why do you thing Catholic families tended to be on the largish side. Despite all the pressure to reduce or prohibit sexuality it seems like a lot of screwing was going on anyway.

I would like to point out some little known things that have been hidden for years now. Let’s start with remote writing. Before the invention of the electric telegraph long distance communication could be achieved with smoke, drums and flags. The semaphore was still in military and naval use well into the twentieth century. In actuality Sam Morse was attempting to build a remotely actuated vibrator which was not too successful but even after the development of telegraphy one of the more popular fellows in western towns was the telegraph operator.

If you look at the most popular inventions of Tom Edison The phonograph, the incandescent light bulb and the moving picture camera eventually with sound. Now the benefits of being able to play back music for private parties were not lost on Mr. Edison. Edison was secretly and passionately a voyeur. Having a bright and unwavering light source light the electric bulb could make a bedroom seem like a picnic in the park without all the social ramifications of sex in public. The bright light was also much more suitable for putting all kinds of human activity on film. Very soon after moving picture came into being the camera captured all kinds of sexual activity. Just like cave paintings – today draw a picture of a mastodon tomorrow a drawing of masturbation.

There are so many examples. James watt was trying to create steam powered sex toys and the like. Alexander Bell’s first telephone call was actually a booty call “Mr. Watson–come here–I want to see you.” Mr. Bell was quite gay you understand. Henry Ford’s Model T should have been called a Model T&A. The final evolution of the radio was recently demonstrated by satellite radio star and king of all media. He made raspberry and other noises into his microphone while one of his listeners sat naked on he woofer, brings a whole other picture to the term woofer, with a little preparation and the help of the Guinness book f world records he could have achieved porn immortality by one man bringing off more women simultaneously than ever!  The explosion of the internet was fueled by websites of an adult nature, now it is in the process of being Disneyfied but I will look back fondly on those early days that were free and unrestricted.

At last the internet with social networking and virtual reality. You can meet someone on the internet and with the aid of audio and video it is almost like being there. There are newer devices like feedback gloves and tactile lingerie that will almost complete the picture. There is only one last thing missing here to complete the picture.

I am working on this device (patent pending) that consists of two cylinders. It consists of a master cylinder and a slave cylinder. The slave cylinder is small but duplicates whatever happens to the master cylinder and there is also adjustable feedback. For example, if you insert a banana into the master cylinder, the slaved cylinder or cylinders if you like will conform to the shape of the banana. The feedback will let you feel how much resistance to the insertion there is. If you understand the function of my remote controlled expanding cylinder once the prototype is completed I can finally achieve what certain people have been telling me to do for many years. I can actually go phuck myself; I just think it may be possible that I will enjoy it far more than was intended.

This story is dedicated to Bruce Walter Solotoff



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