It is a brand new year and I am still here. I don’t know if that is the good news or the bad. Seriously though since I haven’t the cojones to just off myself I am kinda stuck with the hand that I have I have been delt. It is a kind of cheat but I never understood poker anyway. I would bet on a pair and bet on an inside straight. If that means nothing to you I am too chicken just to put a pistol in my mouth and pull.

Honestly I have been and am still tempted but since the 9mm that I own kinda scares me I don’t think I will be able to do it that way. I sincerely hope that I have a couple of reasonably decent years left to me but I would happily trade all that for a few hours with someone who cares about me if only a little bit. I just need a hug so much!


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  1. smuccatelli says:

    Don’t do that, for Christsake! As someone once said: “Suicide is a permanent solution to a temporary problem…”

    Hang in there!

  2. chross76 says:

    Hey Emanuele!

    While I´m not sure why it is you are feeling this way I am glad you´re still here and am sure that you have “a couple of reasonably decent years left” to you! So do n´t do anything silly! I´m also pretty certain you have or will find someone who cares about you!
    Cheer up!


  3. Dioneo says:

    Ciao Emanuele,

    The world is a brighter place with you here. Keep your flame shining! I wish you the best in the new year!


  4. web-ed says:

    I’m deeply concerned to find you in this state at this time. I thought most things had gone better for you in 2013…I may have been mistaken. Drop me a note if you want to talk privately.

  5. Hi

    Thank you all for your support I am really quite lost but not quite at the end of my journey yet.


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