It’s All My Fault

I may complain that my marriage is completely screwed up. In relatively objective examination, I have to conclude that I started this mess. I carefully orchestrated our relationship. I was a man with a plan.

Felix and Oscar have nothing on us. When my wife first saw me, I went to her office to work on a computer; I was clearly a middle aged hippie type, sporting a pony tail, of all things. She is a party line conservative, well educated and still looks great in a business suit and 4 inch heels. I am a confused libertarian, high school dropout, and would live in tee shirts and jeans. There is no way that she would think about dating me and she was probably correct.

She loves dogs, still does and for some obscure reasons dogs are attracted to me. It may be that I eat meat 11 times a week or the Eau de Bacon after shave. I won the approval of her pooches and with that approval I was deemed trustworthy enough to dog sit. She had to go out of town and I stayed in her apartment and did the doggy daddy thing. I have never really been a pet person, you can ask anyone that knows me; I can barely look after my self. My ideal pet would be a pet rock and I would probably kill it.

It was only after that that she agreed to go out with me. After dating for a while she agreed to marry me. All of this I forget while we argue about everything. The events I described here are as correct and accurate as I can remember, it was fifteen years ago after all and my memory is not as good as it once was.  Lots of people visit this blog and few bother to comment, but I think that this post really needs only one visitor.

Update from the management. Comments from Mrs Cranky.

Not sure whether to smile or be furious. Not just a pretty face lots of intelligence here. Absolutely not party line GOP, disagrees strongly with some of the party’s agendas. You did not fool me for a second. I saw you coming a mile away. Don’t let it happen again.

Emanuele

aka Manny

aka Cranky Spanker

This entry was posted in Mostly true life experience. Bookmark the permalink.

6 Responses to It’s All My Fault

  1. Its not me
    your looking for
    but I hope
    that she will read
    smile and reconize
    the base of it all

    Regards, Monsieur Fessee

  2. Monsieur
    Merci pour les bon mots. Pardonnez moi mon francais c’est merde! Un beau jour Je voudrai alle a Paris. It is too bad I flunked french in school.
    🙂

    Emanuele

  3. web-ed says:

    Hi Manny,
    After reading this post I’m not sure what the problem is. What exactly is your fault? Normally I don’t like to inquire about another chap’s marital woes, but since the subject has come up… We need to know what you’re talking about.

  4. Web-ed

    Always nice to hear from you. It is a very long story with lots of arguments, fights and screaming matches. Aside form the target audience I was wondering about this story, I think it’s accurate so do you think I was being romantic and following my heart, or was it the really creepy stalker guy?

  5. Ana says:

    I just found your blog and am not sure what the story is, but I’m sad to hear that your marriage is having trouble. My neighbors scream at each other and then she screams when they have loud sex. No one really wins, least of all me.

    I hope you can find some way to communicate that isn’t so much stress and drama.

  6. Ana

    Hi There must be an easier way. I don’t know what that may be.

    Emanuele

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