Implements etc.

Posted on December 29, 2010 by crankyspanker

Toys may come and toys may go but my butt just keeps getting bigger damn! I have been obsessed with just one thing for as long as I can remember. It may be nobler to give than to receive, that’s not exactly true in all cases. You see I like to receive as well as give. I am really just a greedy slut who enjoys the felling of a tender bum warm to the touch.
When I was a strange young child I would experiment with various things found around the house. The plumbers helper could be most effective, either end, stick more strict that the rubber thing that unclogs toilets.  I have a small triangle shaped mark on the inside of one cheek, honorable mention to the first one to guess just how that happened. I cut school a lot, was accused of being a JD, but I would stay home alone and try to amuse myself.
Being an equal opportunity spanker/spankee I would never use any toy on someone if I had not felt the effects myself. The riding crop for instance. A friend of mine used one on me and boy that thing had a bite! She left an amazing array of evenly spaced stripes somewhat resembling chevrons, I think I rated sergeant at least.
As a spanker my own hand is my favorite. It’s always available and the feel of palm on flesh is very satisfying. You can alternate the strength of the slaps and alternate with little rubs and pokes in between. The force can vary from little pats to full arm slaps, and if overdoing it your hand will hurt too. An experienced bottom would probably wear out my hand long before she is fulfilled.
The kitchen paddle shaped cutting board. In my bachelor quarters there was very little need for a cutting board. You may think that a heavy cutting board will be very painful, oddly enough the force is spread over such a large area that it’s not as severe as you may believe.
 One afternoon while between playmates I was smacking myself with the cutting board. Unfortunately this board was not a single piece of wood. It had been constructed from three pieces of wood, and the thing broke apart. The middle part was a rectangular paddle with the handle. Now that was an intense toy.
to be continued
CS
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OOPS!

Posted on December 28, 2010 by crankyspanker
This is a true story (as I remember it).
I was in living in California when my father took sick. Being between jobs I was selected to travel to New York for moral support. While I was there I met a girl, she was young but then so was I. We got together and took a walk, through a cemetery of all things. We then went back to my parent’s house to get better acquainted.  As I was visiting from California I thought that this had nowhere to go.  Strangely enough she lived in Southern California and we could get together when we both went home.
We did get together and got along very well. I really liked this girl. After dating for a while we became intimate and I thought things were going well. One evening we were both naked and I suggested that we try something different. In a friendly competition we did a 69 to see who would get off first.
69 may sound really easy. I found it very hard to concentrate on my end so to speak while she was doing such nice things to me. She was laying on me with her knees on either side of my head. Since I was so inexperienced I thought that this was very cool and average. In the years since I have met many women who would rather get head than give it. But I digress. I leaned back to catch my breath and was watching a very nice show, her dusky buns waving around in time to what she was concentrating on.
I Looked for a picture to illustrate my point of view but end of the nose viewpoints are rare.
 
She had such a nice bum too. Nice and round and perfectly proportioned. I could not help myself. I reached out and spanked that fanny, I don’t think I got one or two slaps in when she turned on me. Think of a cornered kitten all hissing and claws. She chewed me out thoroughly the only thing that I remember exactly is “Only my mother spanks me!” I took her home getting the silent treatment the whole way. After that I was a non-entity, she wouldn’t see me or even talk to me on the phone.
I have regretted my lack of control ever since, though in retrospect considering her violent reaction, we were doomed from the start. I spent the next few years thinking myself even more of a freak. Keeping that side of me hidden seemed like a good idea at the time. Now I would have to say that was stupid. If you have strong feelings like I do, hell I don’t dream of leggy blonds, well yeah I do but they are mostly stretched across my lap, denying it is not healthy. If you want a healthy happy relationship try to be yourself from the start.
That very pretty girl may have regretted dumping me but I have to think that maybe I just left a bad taste in her mouth.
CS
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Illustrations, Artwork, Comics and Cartoons

Posted on December 27, 2010 by crankyspanker

I don’t know what it is about spanking scenarios drawn from the imagination of various artists, but sometimes I find them more satisfying than photographs or movies. The outrageous hentei of Kamitora which you can find all over the Internet (check out the cherry report for an interview), or the older works of Eric Stanton. When I first logged on to BBS years ago I was excited by crude rendering like these.

Crude yes but in those days you logged on through a service and paid for the privilege by the hour. I have to mention print magazines like Penthouse. Here is a scene that I don’t see very often that I like.

Internet fans will remember Endart who has retired but whose artwork is outstanding. A sample from my computer.

There are so many Banjo, Whizzer Black, The Spirit, and others too numerous to list. One last JayEm I believe

Cranky Spanker

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Happy Holidays

Posted on December 23, 2010 by crankyspanker

Hope that everyone has a Merry Christmas or whatever holiday you celebrate!

Cranky Spanker

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Holiday Shopping

Posted on December 21, 2010 by crankyspanker

Shopping has always been a chore for me. Wandering the aisles of the supermarket, trying to find the items on my shopping list. Somehow always managing to linger at the cooking implements or better yet hair care including nice wooden backed brushes. This holiday season was no different.

I was going through the holiday items aisle and came across this package. In case you can not read the description it says Genuine Hardwood Cutting Board. Looks like the perfect size, unlike the traditional paddle shaped boards found on many kitchen counters. Immediately I considered the possibilities, maybe I could wrap it as a gift. The cleaver however looked completely useless. Happy Holidaze.

Cranky Spanker

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Introduction

Posted on December 20, 2010 by crankyspanker

<!–[if !mso]> st1\:*{behavior:url(#ieooui) } <![endif]–> As long as I can remember I have been a spankoholic. My earliest memories, long before I knew what puddled in my bed at night, I was strangely excited by spankings. In movies, books and rarely observed live episodes. Most of my life I have hidden this part away.  Sometimes with good cause, usually just thinking I was weird.

I was once told by a therapist that I was gay. Whew! my secret was safe, he thinks I am a homosexual. As I grew up and became aware of the opposite sex, I just knew that I would grow out of my strange obsession. Sadly this was not the case, to this day I love spanking!

Secrets are hard to keep. I had thought that I had concealed the truth. One year I was visiting a friend in New York City. My best friend at the time. Attended school together, hung out a lot. I was Best Man at his wedding. It was near my birthday and my buddy handed me a plain white envelope. Inside was this card.

Girl on girl and vintage to boot!

 

It was over, I was outed! He didn’t say a word, just walked away.

That night at his apartment after we had retired for the night, I heard unusual sounds from my friends bedroom. He was spanking his wife. I was frozen in place, as much as I wanted to see the event I was very happy just to hear it. I can’t say if she enjoyed it as much as my friend or me, but this was turning out to one fine birthday. One of my most memorable. The next day nothing was said.

Cranky Spanker 

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